"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." ~Berke Breathed

  I could never have been a cheerleader. I couldn't turn a cartwheel and didn't have the form needed to make any team from elementary school through college. Any rhythm or movement talent that I have ever shown has been because of intense practice and work. When I was young, if you would have asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, a Cheerleader is not one of the things that I would have said.
  Our daughter went to cheerleader camp yesterday for our local NFL team. In a flash I found myself immersed in a culture that I had never seen before. Spandex, long hair, loud music and big smiles everywhere. There was an advertisement on the radio early in the summer about this camp and it was something our daughter really said she really wanted to really do. Seeing as the youngest child had a week with our Major League Baseball Team for baseball camp, and our oldest child had a week of computer programming fresh out of MIT, it only seemed right.
  We have never lived in an area that had any sort of major sports team. To have a national football team twenty minutes to the north and a major league baseball team nine minutes to the south is unbelievable. When we watch a game on the television and can see the blimp out of our front door that is televising the same game we really chuckle. Life just doesn't get any better than this.
  Two days ago I overheard my children, prompted by middle child, talking about what they want to be when they grow up. They were having an in depth conversation about their futures and where they would be in just 15 years.  Their wishes are so diverse. The oldest wants to own his own restaurant and be a world renowned chef or be a computer programmer. The middle wants to be a veterinarian or an animal trainer ( like the one with Shamu). The youngest wants to be a professional baseball player or help the oldest in his restaurant. As they talked about the future there were no limitations. The possibilities were endless.
  As a mom this is where I want them to be. I can see their minds flipping through future scenarios like a person flipping through the songs on an old jukebox. Nothing is impossible.
  It was with this thought in mind that I accompanied our daughter to that cheerleading camp. She doesn't know that her gene pool may not warrant her cheering her heart out at a football stadium. She has no idea that her own mom couldn't make the cut. She went in to the camp with excitement and energy and the childlike belief that this is where she was supposed to be. As I watched her learn her routine and practice with her coach there was one thing that stood out, her smile. That kid was so incredibly happy to be at cheerleading camp that she radiated. At one point in the three hour practice, when parental energy was lagging all over the arena, I looked at her smile and her energy and almost cried. Last night, if the moon needed to take a break, it could've, because our daughters smile would have lit up the skies.
  I have no earthly idea what our children will turn out to be. What I do know is that I'll be there on the front row, cheering them on, with a really big smile.

"It's better to say too much than to never say what you need to say again." John Mayer ~ Say

  At the National Guard Youth conference this year the youth learned ways to handle deployment. Some of the ways were communicate, exercise, eat right, and find a hobby. Each region took one of the skills they learned over the week and put it to a skit or song or presentation and showed it at the final dinner for all volunteers and staff attending the Volunteer Conference. They were amazing. Not only did the youth learn things that we all need to learn so we can thrive through the tough times in life, they taught us all in ways that I will remember for the rest of my life.
 The one presentation that really got me was the communication skit. The youth learned to communicate their feelings instead of keep them inside. They set their message to music and chose John Mayer's song "Say" as the soundtrack. As they played out all of the emotions that come along with deployment, I couldn't help but cry. They had it  right. Keeping your emotions inside at a time of stress can be detrimental. Everyone needs a voice for the feelings they are having.
 It doesn't have to be a deployment for it to be a time when words must be said. The people that mean the most to you need to know how you feel. I believe one of the greatest regrets that a person can have is to not have said what needed to be said.
 There is no time like the present. Take a deep breath and tell the people you love that you love them. If there is a deployment on the horizon, talk through the feelings of it all, especially with your children. Keep a journal if talking it out is too scary, find a battle buddy so you can work through all the crazy emotions you are feeling. Don't bottle it up inside, say what you need to say.

"Your religion is what you do when the sermon is over. " ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr
  I have a confession to make, I haven't been walking the walk. For 100 plus blogs I've been preaching to "Smell the flowers", "Don't sweat the small stuff", "Make Lemonade", "Cherish the moments", "Manage your time" and various other great ideas. I live that life 95% of the time. The last few days have been the 5% kind.
 It wouldn't be all that bad if nobody was looking. It is summer break and I have three sets of eyes watching me as I've allowed my life to unravel. In my house, we call that "Taking prisoners". It is one thing to fall apart when the only person impacted is you. It is a whole other thing when falling apart impacts the lives of others around you. Especially when those lives are of little people who look to you to point North.
 I'm not sure if it was "throwing up dog" or "mountain of paperwork" or "procrastinator's gone bad" or a combination of all three but it has gotten a little hairy around my house. My time has not been my own and my attitude, I'd like to think, is not one that I normally have either. Yesterday I said some things to my kids that will inevitably end up in big therapy bills. When I put them to sleep, all three (not just one), looked out of the side of their eyes at me like I was an alien. I used to have a magnet stuck to a file cabinet when I was a teacher that read "If you feel like a dog at the end of the day, chances are you barked too much" Amen
 Today it is time to scale back. Time to reassess what I'm trying to do and what really matters. Today it is time to apologize to the "prisoners" for not being myself and to explain that I'll try to do better. Today I'll realign myself so my compass does point North because those around me need me to point the way. Today, I'll hang up the Superwoman outfit and be the woman I am best. Me.

"While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about."
~Angela Schwindt

  We are caught up in school preparation in my house. Uniform buying, class registration, school orientation, last minute book list reading, dental cleanings and the mandatory school physical run our schedules. My mom reminded me last night that procrastination has brought this upon me, the harried effect of jamming it all into the week before school. She is right, and in an insane way, I like it this way.
  We live far enough away from our military base that we warrant a civilian doctor. It is the first time in 17 years that I have valet parking services included with my doctor visits. Our family practice physician is a young, fit , knowledgeable man who also has a specialty in sports medicine. He doesn't have children yet. In an effort to streamline the check up process for my family, they doubled up on appointments so we could get the youngest and middle child finished. The older child had his checkup last week. Yesterday was the second day in a week that my family, sans overworked military member, overtook the doctors office. The valet guy loves us. I am sure that we are the only vehicle driving up with Radio Disney playing on the radio. The receptionists love us, when we show up they get to change the channel on the tv from the doctors ESPN to Cartoon Network or Radio Disney. The nurse practitioner loves us, she is reminded of a time gone by in her life when she was raising boys. I think she also secretly watches me to see if I'm twitching. She finds us hilarious.
  We weren't in the waiting room a minute and a half when the youngest proclaimed that he needed to use the bathroom. With clearance to enter in, he walked through the door and went directly to the bathroom on the other side. He didn't shut the bathroom door offering up all the sounds and visibility of a toilet paper commercial. Said receptionists and nurse P chuckled as they recounted the event to me.
 In the weight and height room, youngest and middle child stretched to new heights, recounting to the world the height requirements for the rides at their favorite amusement parks. It sounded like they were ordering up a heaping of a few inches here or there so they would make the cut next time. Nurse P would have given them anything they wanted if she had her magic wand.
 The highlight of the visit came when our doctor entered in to check out the kids. He has a great manner with them, asking them the important questions instead of me. This lends itself to way more disclosure than I would like, but makes the children feel very special. First up was middle child, "Ladies First" was the excuse from Doc. Are you looking forward to school? Yes. What is your favorite subject? Science. What do you play outside? Bike riding and kickball. Do you wear your helmet when you ride? Sometimes. How often do you brush your teeth? Once to twice a day. What is your favorite food?
(This is where the military child takes over) Can I chose from any country? (Doctor looks at me out of the side of his face, I shrug) Any country you want... He says.  German Schnitzel! Replies the military child. (Doctor remarks how he has never had such an ingenious answer, mom vows to make schnitzel for dinner to reward brilliant child.)
   Next up is youngest child. Are you looking forward to school? Sort of. What is your favorite thing to do at school? Recess, PE, freeze tag. What do you play outside? Baseball, bike riding, swimming. Do you wear your helmet? No. How often do you brush your teeth? UM...... What is your favorite vegetable? (This is the point where I cringe. Youngest has started avoiding vegetables. Had Doc asked this question to middle child, we would have scored 100 on the verbal portion of the test.) Well, it is one that has a lot of vitamin C, but I don't like it. (same sideways glance from doctor, I've started to avoid eye contact) It's okay, you can tell me, says the Doc. Broccoli. (fesses up the youngest. I don't say that I didn't know that broccoli has vitamin C.) That's interesting , says Doc, most people don't know that broccoli has vitamin C. Youngest just nods.
  The rest of the check ups went smoothly with a noticeable grin on the doctor's face. He has his share of patients who are children and he takes care of a lot of families. We are not his normal family of patients. We are a confident and quirky group. We have worldly experience that others only dream of. We have our flaws, we have our cracks and we have some very strong personality traits. Judging from the raucous laughter while we were in the doctors office as well as the huge smiles that we left behind, we are welcome. The military family.

 “This nation has no mission of mediocrity. We were never meant to be second best. The spirit that built our country was bold, not timid. It was a spirit of pride,  confidence, and courage that we could do anything.” Ronald Reagan


    We watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics last night for family time. It was an awesome opportunity to share a moment in history with our children and to relive the first Olympics that we remembered as kids. It also opened conversation about different countries and governments and how things in other parts of the world are not like America. Our children were flabbergasted to know that in China you are only allowed to have one child. They have heard about this and have heard me talk incessently about all of the freedoms that we have, but last night it all sunk in.
    When I was only a little older than our middle child, I went to Communist East Germany with my mom. I left behind the Rocky movies, my MTV, Atari, and the beaches of Daytona to see my aunt who lived on the other side of the wall. When we flew into West Berlin I could sense my mom's anxiety. She had escaped through the wall she would now cross back over through a checkpoint. We went into the checkpoint area with our travel Visas and made it to the Eastern side with little trouble. When we stepped into the Eastern side it was like walking into a coloring book without color. Everything was grey, everyone looked washed out. For a ten year old girl leaving behind the freedoms of America, this was an eye opening experience. 
    Last night we talked about the differences between a democracy and a communist state. I told my children about my experience that summer and how things were vastly different from our country. After comparing the two types of governments, our daughter proclaimed, "There isn't much wrong with our country is there Mom?" 
    There isn't much wrong with our country. We are afforded incredible freedoms that other people can only dream about. If I'm not happy with our government, I can speak my mind and have my opinion without worry of persecution. If I chose to have a family with three beautiful children as opposed to one, I don't have to ask permission but only to count my blessings. If I want to go to college, I don't have to have the blessing of a teacher or the markings of a genius, I simply have to strive to do my best. As a woman I have the right to vote for our elected officials, the right to make an educated decision about who will lead the country that means so much to me and my children's children. This country is not lead by a ruling class, but by the people for the people.
    Indeed, there isn't much wrong with this country. 
    In fact, there is a whole lot right with my country.

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."  ~Barbara Bloom

 A rock hit my windshield today while I was driving on the highway. It was a big rock, I was driving fast and it made a loud thunk when it broke the glass. My first reaction was one of shock because the sound was loud and the impact was severe. The spot began to creep like a spiderweb immediately and I was helpless to the effects it had on my windshield.
 My life has been like this.  There have been times when events of the day have hit as hard as that rock did. The shock and the impact were just as severe. When we moved to Korea and I found myself behind a large wall in a foreign country unable to speak the language or understand the culture, it was a jarring change. The uncertainty crept through me as I questioned my confidence in moving so far away from home. When I realized that I was only able to manage my attitude instead of the situation, my focus changed from the differences of our new host nation to the unique opportunity we were afforded to live in Asia. My time in Korea changed me forever.
 When I turned my truck into the sunlight to return to my starting place, something amazing happened to the crack in the windshield. It glistened and shone. Where there once was only light shining in, there was now a prism, a rainbow. Life is like this too. The things that appear to be horrible flaws in our plans or our character or our ideals turn out to be the means to a very beautiful discovery. When things are shattered or disrupted, it is very often the time that we learn the most.
 Jo Dee Messina has a song that I love titled I Wear My Life. It  is a song about living a life that shows on the outside. My life has been full of amazing things. I have my flaws and scars and cracks. Where I've been has left a mark on me and it is  through those marks that I see more and more of my rainbows. It is a life worth wearing.

"Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do."  ~Jean de la Bruyere

It has happened. Our youngest child has grown up to the size that is required for all of the cool rides. Right under my nose, my last excuse for sitting that loop de loop roller coaster out has disappeared. It happened Sunday and I wasn't even there to see it.
With only days left on our Disney season passes, my husband and children went to revisit the things they have enjoyed the most. Our youngest has been such a trooper, knowing that there would be a ride at every place that had a measuring stick he couldn't measure up to. We have become masters at dealing with this disappointment, whisking him away to something near by that only he and whichever left behind parent would do.
From all accounts, Sunday was different. Before we ever left the house I pulled out the measuring tape from my sewing kit. I had a hunch that he had grown those last few inches, and by my measurements, I was right. Without causing his hopes to soar I mentioned that this trip my be the most exciting one yet. The family went to Disney Quest and the "Build Your Own" roller coaster ride was up and running. Our youngest went to the measuring station and passed the height check. Every step of the way as they waited in line, he was measured. Every step of the way as they waited in line, he measured up. His excitement was overwhelming. Every few steps toward the ride he would grab my husband and hug him, so excited to finally be let into the area that was once off limits.
We have enjoyed numerous days in the parks of Disney. We have seen our children's faces light up when the fireworks went off or the parade passed. We have relived our childhood walking the streets of Mainstreet USA with our children. Now, we have marked a milestone with our youngest as he grew into the bigger rides. These days have passed all too quickly for us. The memories are priceless and the lessons are many.
~With a little time and a whole lot of patience, the things that aren't available now will one day be ours.
~The best things in life are worth the wait.
~Being  a part of the joy of a child is one of the greatest gifts a parent can ever experience.
~Watching as your child grows up, measures up, reaches new heights...........that's priceless.

"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them. " ~John Shirley
 I love the promise of a Saturday morning. To wake up to the quiet of everyone sleeping and read my paper knowing my whole family is under one roof.
It hasn't always been this good. There were places we lived where the only Saturday paper I could get was online. We lived too far out in a town in a foreign country where the Stars and Stripes wasn't delivered. I'm not of the generation who can read a paper on my computer. It doesn't feel right. I love having the paper in my hands stretched across my lap with my country's news to chew on. When we lived in Korea, the Stars and Stripes would be delivered the night before. I used to chuckle when I read tomorrow's news. Where we live now, the paper is thrown on my driveway every morning by 5:30 am. It has been one year now, that we have lived here, and not one day has gone by that I don't thank God for the chance to walk barefoot on to my driveway to pick up my local paper.
There have been Saturday mornings when I've woken up and my whole family hasn't been under one roof. During deployment's, I hated weekends. I felt the pressure as a single parent trying to make the weekend everything it could be for our children. I would jam a bunch of family oriented events into two days so the children wouldn't feel the void of their dad being gone. By Monday I was exhausted and acutely aware of my limitations. I secretly wished every weekend to go away.
  On Sunday mornings we would try to meet on a video teleconference with Vic. I'd grab my coffee and go online, waiting for some sign that Vic was able to get in to the morale tent for our twenty minutes. For those minutes, the kids would run in and out to talk to dad and I'd get the time in between. In some strange way it felt like we were together under one roof. Our youngest would yell to his siblings that "Dad was home" everytime he realized that Dad was on the computer. It also felt a little weird, like the end of the Space Mountain ride when they are showing you the future and the family is talking over television. When our time was up and we had to get off the computer conference, the weekend would return back to what it was before, go through the motions of a family not together.
 As I look around my now bustling house I'm so thankful. We are all in attendance. For this weekend I have what so many of our military families don't, my husband is home. I'll spend my weekend with gratitude and marked steps. I'll bookend my weekend with prayers for those who are around the world wishing their weekend would go away. I've been there and I haven't forgotten.

"Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time which every day produces, and which most men throw away. " ~Charles Caleb Colton
 Franklin Covey, in his Seven Habits of Effective People, talks about a Circle of Concern and a Circle of Influence. The Circle of Concern is like the larger part of a bullseye, the outside rings of our lives where things linger that we are worried about. The Circle of Influence is like the inside of the bullseye, the bullseye as it were, where things that we can effect reside. He explains an interesting phenomenon that I believe to be true. The time you concentrate on one circle effects the other. If I concentrate on my Circle of Influence, on the things I can make a difference about, then my Circle of Concern gets smaller. The things I'm worried about get smaller. If I concentrate on my Circle of Concern, the things I'm worried about, then my Circle of Influence - the things I can impact, gets smaller. It makes sense.
 The greatest example would be time. Everyone worries about their time, especially about the future or the past. We have little control over the future and even less over the past yet they are definitely in our circle of concern. The time I have right now, my present, is in my circle of influence. That is the only time that I can impact. If I concentrate on the future or past too much, my influence over today will decrease. If I concentrate on today, my concern for the future or the past will minimize.
 That is the power of right now. We don't have to imagine what a consorted effort of people using their time wisely can do. Look at Habitat for Humanity. Hundreds of volunteers dedicate their present time to building a house and it is done. One minute at a time, many hands in on the work. Go to a soup kitchen the hours leading up to feeding time through the time it takes to clean up and see what the power of minutes can do under the hands of those saints who cook, serve and clean.
 Last week a gentleman stopped me in a restaurant as I was returning to my table from the restroom. He was eating alone at the bar and he had a question for me. He was traveling on business and his son was about to deploy for a second time to Iraq. I have no idea how he knew that I was a military wife. I have no idea why he felt that it was me he had to talk to. I stopped and listened. He was concerned about his son, he was unsure of the situation "over there" and was beginning to question if he could support his child through another deployment, emotionally and mentally. I was able to give him some guidance on resources to plug into that would direct his energy. I couldn't promise him that everything would be okay, but I let him know that his feelings were very normal. When our conversation ended, I could see on his face that he was relieved. He thanked me for taking the time out to talk to him. As I walked to my table I looked at my watch and noticed that the conversation took less than seven minutes. Seven minutes to calm the fears of a parent. Seven minutes to point someone to the myriad of resources that are out there for the families of our service members. Seven minutes to take what I've learned in the face of deployments and a life as a military wife and to use it to help someone.
I had only that time at that moment and for me it was time well spent.

"Life is a song.  Love is the music."  ~Author Unknown

The songs of my childhood and teenage years have come back to the radio because of musicals. Abba plays through my house as my kids dance because Mama Mia, the now movie and long time popular musical, is taking over the summer. As we dance around the house, my children are amazed that I know ALL the words to ALL the songs. That is what being a teenager will do for you. Those times in our lives are imprinted in our hearts and our souls. There is something so amazing about knowing the words to my favorite songs.
I was recently at a ballgame in St Louis. I'm not a Cardinals fan, but I am a baseball fan and being in such a beautiful ballpark was good for my soul. The scoreboard flashed a question during a break that surprised me. "If your life had one song accompany it, what would it be?" I'm not accustomed to profound questions at the ballgame. Most games I only have to ponder pretzels or peanuts. Songs of my life started flashing through my mind. How could I possibly chose ONE song for my life soundtrack? I chose Bon Jovi, It's My Life, because it is. Now or never, I need to do what I can do to make the world a better place. My friend chose Sinatra. Then the game resumed.
The truth is, life is too big to have just one song. I believe that every song that I know the words to, every song that has been imprinted in my mind holds a little spot on my life's playlist. The great thing is that there are many songs of various genre. The really great thing is that, for all of them, I know the words.