Woman in the Mirror
"I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that. " ~Lauren Bacall
I'm travelling again. This morning when I looked in the mirror, I remembered that this is the hotel that has a bathroom mirror so unlike mine at home. The lights in this bathroom surround the mirror and the mirror isn't kind. It is very close and when I look in it in the mornings, I have to look extra long to find the woman that I know I am in there.
It is a funny thing that everywhere we have moved, I have had to reevaluate who the woman in the mirror was. Being a military wife means that I have packed up and left behind the identity that I created for myself in over 14 places. The thought of this transformation used to make me excited. After two years in an assignment, I would look forward to our next move and my chance to try out new things. A new move meant a clean slate. I'd be free to pick up the programs that I loved to work with and the activities and leave behind the ones that I didn't.
This move, much like this morning, the woman in the mirror is tired. After so many moves, I had finally refined who I knew myself to be. At our last assignment, I had found my purpose and settled my feet. My work there didn't feel done. I had refined the face of the woman I saw in the mirror and I was a big fan of hers. When we moved to our new assignment and bought our new house, I found myself looking at a stranger in the mirror. This transition was the hardest for me. Everything was in flux, the children were in all new schools, I was in a new city and my natural ability to "make it work" was off kilter. I found myself frustrated and apologetic because I couldn't get my feet settled in what was my own home state.
In hindsight, times of extreme change offer us the greatest chance to grow. I have spent alot of time the past several months, looking in the mirror. Who is this woman? What does she feel? What is important to her? These questions and those long looks at myself made me dig deep within. The time that it has taken me to really get my bearings has served me well. I've remembered things about the woman in the mirror that I had forgotten. She loves to teach, she loves her kids, she adores her husband. I found things about the woman in the mirror that I never knew. She loves to write, she is passionate about encouraging people, she still loves Classic Rock music. I've come to know that woman in the mirror again. I'm beginning to become a fan of hers......
I'm travelling again. This morning when I looked in the mirror, I remembered that this is the hotel that has a bathroom mirror so unlike mine at home. The lights in this bathroom surround the mirror and the mirror isn't kind. It is very close and when I look in it in the mornings, I have to look extra long to find the woman that I know I am in there.
It is a funny thing that everywhere we have moved, I have had to reevaluate who the woman in the mirror was. Being a military wife means that I have packed up and left behind the identity that I created for myself in over 14 places. The thought of this transformation used to make me excited. After two years in an assignment, I would look forward to our next move and my chance to try out new things. A new move meant a clean slate. I'd be free to pick up the programs that I loved to work with and the activities and leave behind the ones that I didn't.
This move, much like this morning, the woman in the mirror is tired. After so many moves, I had finally refined who I knew myself to be. At our last assignment, I had found my purpose and settled my feet. My work there didn't feel done. I had refined the face of the woman I saw in the mirror and I was a big fan of hers. When we moved to our new assignment and bought our new house, I found myself looking at a stranger in the mirror. This transition was the hardest for me. Everything was in flux, the children were in all new schools, I was in a new city and my natural ability to "make it work" was off kilter. I found myself frustrated and apologetic because I couldn't get my feet settled in what was my own home state.
In hindsight, times of extreme change offer us the greatest chance to grow. I have spent alot of time the past several months, looking in the mirror. Who is this woman? What does she feel? What is important to her? These questions and those long looks at myself made me dig deep within. The time that it has taken me to really get my bearings has served me well. I've remembered things about the woman in the mirror that I had forgotten. She loves to teach, she loves her kids, she adores her husband. I found things about the woman in the mirror that I never knew. She loves to write, she is passionate about encouraging people, she still loves Classic Rock music. I've come to know that woman in the mirror again. I'm beginning to become a fan of hers......
Hey Pam, Great article. It is so true of military wives to re-evaluate ourselves with each move. You don't have to move to re-eval who you are and want to be. I know I need to.
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Hello Marsha! So great to hear from you. You are absolutely right, any major change or event and we have to re-evaluate who we are and if we are on track with the plans we have for ourselves. One thing is true, whatever the circumstance, we have what it takes to make it through all the changes. I'm praying for you, friend! Hope all is well.
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