The Life I Have Planned
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. " ~Joseph Campbell
I'm having one of those days where my worlds are colliding. The things that "Volunteer Pam" committed to, and "Mom Pam" wants to do are crashing into the things that "Working Pam" needs to do and "Wife Pam" had planned to do. Nevermind the "I can sew on the Brownie patches" Pam who overcommitted herself! I am sure that it was a day like this that helped design the Calgon commercial where the mom says "Calgon, Take me Away!". "Me Pam" would like to still be in my pajamas combing over the paper or sleeping with the sound of a cooking show in the background.
The truth is, I'm the only one to blame for this predicament. I have a planner with a calendar and hours of the days and all of that jazz. I know how to manage my time. I'm so good at managing my time that I've taught others how to manage theirs. Looking at me today, that is a very scary thought. Every so often, it has to get to this point. I start off slow, saying yes to things I should be thinking over a little bit. Committing to events or activities or volunteer roles because it feels so great to be needed. Sometimes I take on something because I can see how overstressed the person is who has committed to it in the first place. I don't like to see people stressed out and then I find that I've put myself in the same situation. Sometimes I take on a volunteer role because I know I'm the best person for the job. Trouble is that has happened more than I had bargained for, lately. These extra roles would be no problem if it weren't for the roles that I live. Wife, mom, daughter,woman and friend. When I start to shove those roles out of the way for the ones that I signed on to do, then I have a day like today.
Today is my damage control day. It is the day that I have to step back and take inventory. I already know which extra roles have to be completed or delegated and today is the day. As much as the adrenaline of activity can drive me, there is a nagging thought in my mind. When it gets this busy and I haven't kept my priorities in view then the people who suffer are the ones I love, especially myself. I'm old and wise enough to see these days coming, and yet I set myself up. When the day is done, I will be exhausted, but I will have reset my daily pace to a manageable one and that is important.
Here is what I should be doing: Plan my day for 75% activity. This means, plan enough to do to take up three fourths of my day and energy and time. In this plan should be time for all of those important roles I mentioned. First fruits go to the ones I love, including myself and anything left after that can be dolled out to other places, up to 75%. That 25% is for the life that is waiting for me. That is for the unexpected email or phone call from a friend. That extra time is for the Uno tournament that will make my daughter feel like a champion or the two minutes it will take my 6 year old son to recount a joke he thinks is hilarious. The 25% of life that is waiting for me is an extra ten minute walk with my dog as eagles soar overhead and birds sing a melody. It's the opportunity to help a frazzled mom return the large shopping cart from her car so she doesn't have to juggle kids and groceries and stress that I remember oh so very well.
Today, the life I planned has turned out a little more chaotic than I would like. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm planning it only partially full and looking forward to the part of life that I cannot plan for, the life that is waiting for me.
I'm having one of those days where my worlds are colliding. The things that "Volunteer Pam" committed to, and "Mom Pam" wants to do are crashing into the things that "Working Pam" needs to do and "Wife Pam" had planned to do. Nevermind the "I can sew on the Brownie patches" Pam who overcommitted herself! I am sure that it was a day like this that helped design the Calgon commercial where the mom says "Calgon, Take me Away!". "Me Pam" would like to still be in my pajamas combing over the paper or sleeping with the sound of a cooking show in the background.
The truth is, I'm the only one to blame for this predicament. I have a planner with a calendar and hours of the days and all of that jazz. I know how to manage my time. I'm so good at managing my time that I've taught others how to manage theirs. Looking at me today, that is a very scary thought. Every so often, it has to get to this point. I start off slow, saying yes to things I should be thinking over a little bit. Committing to events or activities or volunteer roles because it feels so great to be needed. Sometimes I take on something because I can see how overstressed the person is who has committed to it in the first place. I don't like to see people stressed out and then I find that I've put myself in the same situation. Sometimes I take on a volunteer role because I know I'm the best person for the job. Trouble is that has happened more than I had bargained for, lately. These extra roles would be no problem if it weren't for the roles that I live. Wife, mom, daughter,woman and friend. When I start to shove those roles out of the way for the ones that I signed on to do, then I have a day like today.
Today is my damage control day. It is the day that I have to step back and take inventory. I already know which extra roles have to be completed or delegated and today is the day. As much as the adrenaline of activity can drive me, there is a nagging thought in my mind. When it gets this busy and I haven't kept my priorities in view then the people who suffer are the ones I love, especially myself. I'm old and wise enough to see these days coming, and yet I set myself up. When the day is done, I will be exhausted, but I will have reset my daily pace to a manageable one and that is important.
Here is what I should be doing: Plan my day for 75% activity. This means, plan enough to do to take up three fourths of my day and energy and time. In this plan should be time for all of those important roles I mentioned. First fruits go to the ones I love, including myself and anything left after that can be dolled out to other places, up to 75%. That 25% is for the life that is waiting for me. That is for the unexpected email or phone call from a friend. That extra time is for the Uno tournament that will make my daughter feel like a champion or the two minutes it will take my 6 year old son to recount a joke he thinks is hilarious. The 25% of life that is waiting for me is an extra ten minute walk with my dog as eagles soar overhead and birds sing a melody. It's the opportunity to help a frazzled mom return the large shopping cart from her car so she doesn't have to juggle kids and groceries and stress that I remember oh so very well.
Today, the life I planned has turned out a little more chaotic than I would like. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm planning it only partially full and looking forward to the part of life that I cannot plan for, the life that is waiting for me.
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